Stage sixteen: Cockermouth to Cartmel…’Up The Hill Backwards’

I made the understandable but school-boy error of peeking out the curtains at 0600 hrs and frankly wished I wasn’t going out there. Driving winds and consequently ‘orrible ‘orizontal rain. Non bueno.

Er, can we just hang on un peu?

My main worry about today’s route was how many A-roads that I’d use: the conditions were anything but conducive to that, and it only took 9 miles to convince me that I’d rather go to Plan B…which meant an early turn to the interesting terrain, i.e. the moors, but losing almost 20 miles into the bargain.

Basically, the roads were too narrow...too busy...and with all the surface water around, you were just asking for trouble. So there was no difficult decision!

I was a sh*tload happier on these kinda roads….

Wot- you’ve missed off ‘Farm’ too!

I make zero apologies for the slew of samey-samey photos that follow- I *heart* this landscape and even in these conditions, it’s a tonic. Oughta be available to all!

“You want some?”

Posted t-i-c, as obvs Moonbase Alpha was the only choice!

The only drama with the scenic option is the absence of Co-ops or the like…but a dodgy pop-up near Grizedale sorted me with an alleged Cottage Pie. Whatevs, it didn’t touch the sides! From there it was another scenic route to my acco in lovely Cartmel…and let me assure you, The Royal Oak was a sight for done-in legs!

I didn’t care- it was warmer than I was, hah-hah!

A Lakes re-working of The Shining!

There was a brief skirmish again with some A-roads which only reinforced how unsuited they are to bikes…the moors are ace, of course. It’s just how you get your bike there that is the issue.

Jams like this happen to even ‘regular’ road users. Rubbish, innit?

Behold tonight’s superb hosts!

It was literally a delight to be welcomed into your accommodation which was super-warm and well-used to outdoors travellers. Their local ale was fantastic too! An old (alright, similar vintage ex-attendance colleague) insisted on joining me for dinner and her choice of The Cavendish Arms was stellar, to be fair!

STP originally came from Cartmel, apparently. Madonna source hers from here too. I could write any old balls and you’d buy it, right? Word, though!

Now they either know one of my favourite geetahrists or my favourite solo artist. Or used a C instead of an R, hah-hah!

So just the two standard items remaining…

Still a good dig in those conditions!

And the tune? Well, you’ve probably heard of Dave Bowie…yes? Well, here he is back in 1980 with some stellar players and I’ve no idea what he’s on about, but it doesn’t matter- it’s music. Keep on!

Stage fifteen: Kelso to Cockermouth…’Going Mobile’

You expect a bit of noise when the pubs close and you’re in a room overlooking the town square: fair dos and you know that it’ll be quiet once taxis arrive. What I didn’t expect was fellow guests at my acco arriving back at 2am, shouting and banging doors. Once they’re settled inside it’ll be okay…nah, it continued for over an hour. This meant not even three hours sleep…despite that, I had a pretty brilliant day!

And away!

Cobbles? In the very a.m.? Madness!

Goodbye to lovely Kelso…

Kelso Abbey. Scheduled to be finished by Q3 2028.

Beautiful but absolutely Baltic, Sir!

This was a crisp morning and I wasn’t surprised that my Garmin reckoned the temperature was 5.2c…defo a good idea to add another layer on. The Borders’ scenery was splendid for a lot of the time, and it made all this a bit of a privilege.

You will never hear me complain about my extra weight, hah-hah!

Word was that there was some splendid scenery around here…

Word was that there probably is some dynamite scenery around here. Possibly!

Just one eyesore after another.

Was overjoyed to find a cafe open: top three bacon & egg roll avec coffee!

Only 4.5 miles, huh? Appreciate the warning, although’Wired For Sound’ is still a banger…

And with that I was back over the border, bothering England once again. From there the job was to get through Carlisle (only three attempts on my life, so that’s a win) and get onto the final bit of vertical which will take to tonight’s destination, Cockermouth.

Carlisle Castle, which unless Scotland annexed Cumbria overnight, means we’re back in England!

Double-bell action in Dalston.

Difference of opinion as to who the GOAT really is!

Well hello there!

Like I said earlier, it’s nothing short of a privilege to cycle through this sorta landscape…and I had most of it to myself! Cue too many photos that will never do that scenery justice. Tough, hah-hah!

And to tonight’s hosts in Cockermouth…

The penultimate episode of Acco Watch!

The rehydration protocol accompanied the Manc derby.

Grim…but we’ll see what it’s actually like. Still grim, hah-hah!

So this was a really good day and I’m grateful to be out enjoying that scenery. As you can see from the above forecast, tomorrow may be a bit sketchy- we will see how it pans out. Ultimately I need to get to Cartmel, safely thanks…so fingers crossed!

Today’s numbers…

And finally not today’s tune. Featuring one of Keith Moon’s brilliant performances…it’s a belter!